The Pimp, Scallops & Breeze

    (by Kirsten Lea)  

Following our training weekend in Weymouth I now feel my initiation into the sport of diving is complete and I sit here writing this with a smile on my face remembering the many “events” of the trip.

The build up started the week before; making sure I had all the equipment I would need; filled tanks etc, etc.  With the number of vehicles heading south I rashly assumed that it would be easy to hitch a lift.  Wrong!  Unless assisted by a trailer all dive cars have only two seats.  So Friday lunchtime found me helping Ian load his trailer with an unbelievable amount of kit.  We collected Diane at about 1600 and the ensemble was complete, man, white Mercedes, trailer and two blondes………

Our journey south was long and arduous due to the traffic, doubly so for Ian forced to entertain myself & Diane!  By 21:00 we were tired, hungry, still some distance from Weymouth and just outside a very inviting country pub.  Walking in we wondered what the locals might think of our trio; Ian the Pimp was born!  A swift half and a crackling mobile call established that we still had time to meet the rest of the Bedsac team at the Smugglers’ for dinner and we were on the road again.On route we tried calling ahead to order our food, but were defeated by the quality of mobile coverage in Dorset.  Following this we picked up the Pimp theme, discussing services, rates (up to 50p?), Ian’s cut and much more…  Until we were interrupted by Ian’s hands-free phone telling us that the recording would finish in ten seconds.  Definitely an “Oh My God” moment.  Our whole conversation had been recorded on Tim’s answer-phone. On arrival at the Smugglers’ we took the only action we could.  Head straight for Tim & get his phone.  The entertainment had arrived…

Our accommodation was in a local caravan park, organised with military precision by Tim - the height of luxury, given the absence of kids & snoring partners! We emerged Saturday morning to glorious sunshine.  Our breakfast spot overlooked the bay, shimmering and glistening into the distance.  We could have been on a Greek Island, apart from the scent of the bacon and eggs.  Team instructions included a loo stop; the next opportunity could be some time. 

Tango was much bigger than I expected, and the Rib much smaller.  We created quite a spectacle in the harbour loading the boats, a real team effort.  I started to appreciate the “privilege” of my position on board the Rib – part of the trainee initiation I presume.  Despite this I really enjoyed the ride; fun, fast, bumpy and we all had a chance drive. I was a little nervous at the prospect of diving so far off-shore, but my Buddy for the day was Kevin Hopton, so my nerves were minimized.  The tension level increased when we were intercepted by the Coast Guard on route to our planned wreck site – out of bounds due to army exercises, including live firing from the cliff top! 

Finally on site we started our dive.  Kevin left the boat smoothly, like a seal.  I got my fins stuck under gear in the bottom of the boat and hit the water like an octopus.  We were diving on “The Great British Inventor” and I led down the rope without getting us lost, which I was very pleased with.  Exploring the wreck was great fun with Kevin pointing out many interesting details, the names of which I have now forgotten!  I got really excited when I found patches of bright red coral on the ironwork.  Returning to the boat I performed my “beached whale” impression.  For lunch we headed back in-shore to Lulworth Cove and the beautiful views of Durdle Door.

 For the afternoon a drift dive had been planned, apparently some of the hard-boat divers had prepared fish bait.  The current was not strong, but enough to push us along.  After a few minutes at the bottom the scallops lifted, masses dancing up and surrounding us, a very special moment in my dive experiences. Saturday evening we returned to the Smugglers’ for another huge meal.  A select few continued the party in Steve Allen’s caravan, whilst other events included shooting for the forthcoming Bedsac calendar…

Sunday morning did not start well.  Quite apart from the heavy rain, I had a recollection of a “marriage conversation” that I really should not have had with someone about to take his vows… sorry, Tim. 

Tango was waiting for us and I prayed for Kevin to be my buddy again because it was rough and getting rougher.  We moved on from the “will-we or won’t we?” stage to “we could couldn’t we?” and started loading the boat.  Even the Coast Guard towing another dive boat back to harbour did not dent our resolve.  We cast off, worried but “up-for-it” and wearing our masks to keep out the rain & spray.  The full force of the storm hit us the harbour entrance; it could have been a scene from “A Perfect Storm”.  There were no dissenters when it was suggested we return to harbour.

  Diane & Ian had wisely opted out of diving in favour of Weymouth’s designer dive shops.  Many thanks to Clive & Helen for rescuing me & squeezing me into their 4WD.  When the shoppers returned we repacked the trailer & started our journey home.  The weekend had been exhilarating, but had taken its toll.  I slept for most of the way, much to our manager’s relief…